Inspiration

It's almost 4 am here in vegas, and I'm really just addicted to my computer. I've been sitting here for hours reading random shit about things that will quite possibly never be useful in my life. Its really at 4 am in the morning that you know what you really want out of life , because you know what you aren't getting, and that's what is keeping you up at 4am in the morning. No, not sex, well it could be sex for you, but it's not for me, at least not now. I literally spend 4 hours or more each day just day dreaming. I daydream life if it were to be ideal. The funny thing is, within my many daydreams there can only be one theme and that is perfection. My daydreams have to get really specific to be ideal and that means that it is a polar opposite of life. Think about it, life is complicated, its murky, you never know if you want the poppy seed muffin or the chocolate chip muffins, all you know is they sell like a 20 pack of them at Sam's Club and you probably won't eat them all and at least 8 will go to waste. I don't know if you got that analogy, probably the only person who understands that analogy is Nessa, she knows about my murkiness, about my "Indio Downey" problem haha, that makes me sound like a pedophile :/. (he's no nick simmons). Anyways to get back on topic, sometimes I just sit up for hours daydreaming lifes perfections, (using the muffin analogy again) if woke up in the morning and the day was to be perfect you would have to give up the choice of other muffins because there is only one perfect muffin and the other muffins just don't fit in. This is going to be hard for you, giving the different characteristics of the muffins, you most likely won't even begin to compare the two because you're afraid you'll find one of the muffins to be superior. IT HAPPENS, but not to you. I believe it is human nature to want to be confused. It is human nature to not want to make a decision because it's hard. It's human nature to eat the muffin that causes you heart burn, why? deep down inside we're all masochists. Even deeper inside we're all sadistic. We're just sick human beings trying to find a place to get our proverbial rocks off proverbial muffins. We're sick and we don't even see it. We turn the simplest human interactions into games. We don't realize we're just breeders, feeders, movers and shakers. We shouldn't think so much. I definitely shouldn't.