Maury Povich is a fucked up person. Today on his 11 am. show he made me laugh hysterically. YOU KNOW HOW? The cheap laugh folks, yeah the cheap laugh. He brought on a bunch of chubby middle aged (and a bit younger) bitches who had phobias of the most ridiculous shit. He basically brings them on, shows them pictures of the phobia and then the bitch cries, then they confront them with the phobia and the bitch screams and cries. They they introduce them to a "Motivational Hypnotist" named Boris Cherniak (look it up, no lies!), who says "by the end of the show, her will cure these guests of their phobias."
Okay, First off, I want to be a Motivational Hypnotist. Two, Luckily my mom dvrs this shit so I don't have to fucking sit through vagisil commercials. The commercials suck, but fucking after the commercial break the show gets oh so much better.
This ghetto ass black chick named Tanisha comes out, and she is going ghetto about smelling dogs. She then hears a bark and starts frantically running backstage where she freaks the fuck out. Now I must admit, as a kid I too was afraid of dogs, but shit, I GOT OVER IT, because I'm not an irrational black bitch (at least in my opinion anyway). This Tanisha is fucking brilliant. They try to get her to go into a pet store to see the puppies and she's fucking like "THEY SENSE FEAR OR ELSE THEY WOULDN'T BE BARKING", her grammar is impeccable. I think this bitch has a strap on her, I should find this video on youtube. If you found a youtube video before this then I definitely found it. I'm going to narrate the whole episode for those of who maybe think...I'm funny?
The next nasty fat woman on the show was afraid of cotton balls. "They make a certain sound.", she says. TOO BAD I UNDERSTAND what she is talking about, that fucking annoying ass squeaky sound. Anyway this bitch goes on to say that she has a reoccurring nightmare about a man covered in cotton who tries to kill her and she's afraid of her 1 year old son's diapers and toys. Haha her 8 year old chases her with cotton in stores. Haha then they have people dress up in cotton man costumes and they freak her out backstage HAHA MAURY YOU ARE SO FUCKED UP. Haha she thinks cotton balls are disgusting haha that fat ugly white bitch what is her name I didn't catch it, oh its Carolyn, that's a dumb bitch name ( no offense).
Okay so the next woman is a hideous black woman who was afraid of lizards. No offense, Sharon Stone, but cold blooded animals are nasty foul creatures. They are the filthiest creatures alive. HAHA then the Motivational Hypnotist says he can save her and allow her to live happily in the great state of Louisiana. LOL
The next is a 40 year old piece of white trash who is afraid of frogs. When this lady screams hahah, the devil is coming out of her. "There's like millions of them coming at me, eating me, chasing me", April says. LOL I love her in all her trashy glory.
Yes now it is finally time for the Motivational Hypnotist.
So the jello bitch is cured, and the chicken bitch is cured, making think they were really good trailer park actors. Tanisha was still skeptical, she's black, thats her nature. Carolyn doesn't care about cotton, "It's cotton", she says. LOL about Maury saying Louisiana is his favorite state. New York is going crazy. Lizard bitch is cured. Now the exquisite April, does not care about frogs. I didn't find the video oh well.
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