I had to google image search : "gayest ever" to describe

the way I feel inside right now. Haha I'm a silly little girl and if my insides looked the way they feel then they would look like liberace in hot pants.

HAHAHAHHAHA
GAYEST EVER.

J'aime bavarder.

Quelquefois, quand je m'assieds sur mon lit, je pense à la statue taillée par les mains de Michel-ange.

Je pense que c'etait deux peuple dans ma vie que dans tout realité ont l'air de David par Michel-Ange.

To truly understand me, you must understand certain things about me, certain people, certain occurrences, certain fall outs. I wish I was just a person that could be known and understood just on my own behalf. I think I suck or some shit. OKAY not really. BUT WHATEVER



This is still the hottest picture of me ever taken in all my year of life. I think i was 16 about to turn 17. What a slut (jk)

In Grave Condition

I haven't blogged in a while and you know why? It's not that I haven't felt like it, its that I'm afraid of what I might honestly say on here. There are a million things running through my head and I have a habit of making things that need to be quiet blatantly obvious, so no more personal blogs for the next few weeks, maybe not even until I'm Reno. In Reno it won't be possible to not write personal blogs cause I'll be fucking excited and probably drunk. I really want to say a bunch of shit right now that I just can't :[ BLEH SUCKAGE


So for today's random pop culture shizz: possible a-rod and madonna tape. i don't believe it. but if it does exist HOW FUCKING GROSS

Dramatic

I'm going to write this post as if it were a short story. I'll do this a lot from now on as I "think" about parts of the story. Lets call this story,"Obvious". Let's pretend Wes Anderson will love it and turn it into a movie where I star as the lead because I'm an attention whore? Let's pretend this is all fiction.


"This is the last time I let this happen to me", she was a creature of two parts, always indecisive. Her brain was having a hidden conversation with her heart and they were saying the same thing but her conscience was screaming at them, crying even, really throwing a fucking fit. This couldn't be correct. A joke really, she knew the whole fucking time. It really didn't help she was listening to such angry music at the time. She was really making a fucking mess of her internal organs just sitting there listening to her loud music. She loved every bit of her confusion and as her brain finally said "I can't lie anymore, honey", that's when she cringed. Cringing is the first true human sign of any type of emotion, except happiness. Happiness doesn't have a cringe, bummer. You cringe when you're sick, you're sad, you're disgusted, and most usually when you don't want to face the truth. She was all of the above. She was surer in this genuine pain she was feeling than she was sure of her older man crush on Roman Polanski. She was sure as hell that she would get what she wanted, or she wouldn't feel very well, in all that damn cold.

If you read my blog

Then you deserve to see this geeky video I took of my self on graduation day.

I know, I know

SO I totally know what that last dream means. I realized mentally in terms of being in a gridlock, I'm in the exact same place I was in a year okay, OKAY so in about 2 months I'll be in the exact exact place, and if you put me forward by another 3 months OH SHIT, i'll probably puke because my thoughts are exactly the same. I've changed but the ordeals that I go through everyday within my brain have not, THEY did change for a while. For a while I had no dilemma only a "meh maybe" and now I have a full blown dilemma on my hands again and I know that in august it'll just subside and then I'll be busy with school and it won't really matter for a while, but then christmas is gonna come and I'm not going to be doing anything and BAM dilemma, but maybe it'll be different, that's what I'm hoping. OH SHIT and then what about spring. If my life goes as planned spring will be a dilemma fest. then summer vacay next year. I'm doing again what my dad always cusses me out for, thinking to far ahead in the future about things that could change. Maybe I'll overcome the mental dilemma. OR MAYBE I'LL CHERISH IT(like i don't already want to fuck the shit out of it right?(haha nessa), fuck i'm neurotic :/. I'm like a hard on for people on prozac.